about relantioships

Where to even begin. Well it is easy to let go, when you realize, that the other didn't care about you. Or more importantly didn't respect you as much as you did him. When my ower year lasted relationship ended, I first thought that there is no way further... well I thought that for one day. Then I understood that I was better of him. Whole time that I did spend with him, I slowly came another person. My friends did notice that, and said like hundreds of times about it... I didn't listen. I was so in love with that lie, that I couldn't see or believe, what they were saying. Gladly finally, there happened that kind of things, that i couldn't shut my eyes anymore, and I just had to let go.

Letting go in the end felt so good.... and so liberating. It was like I could finally breathe again and hear my own voice. I haven't felt this good with my self in ower an year. I am like smiling all the time like I used to and really have fun. It is so great to get your life back on track and have your freedom to do things you love. And you doesn't have to feel insecure about everything.

But afterwards it is sad to think about your self, how narcissistic person can flip your whole world around and make from strong person the most insicure woman in the world. How I did abandon all my friends that didn't like the gay, and saw what he was doing from the beginning. How I stopped doing things I before him loved doing, because he didn't like those. How I tried do everything to please him, but never succeeded in that. All and all I think with narcissist like that, there is no happy ending... not with him... but when you get your self out of that relationship, you can become the most happy person in the world.

When you love a lie, it easy to let go. Because when the lie ends, love ends.

And in the end... I have to apologize all my dear friends that have been there for me, even though I have only pushed them away. I am so glad to have them in my life, for supporting me.
Love you Elisabeth and Mr. Big.